This Break Isn't Broken

At the risk of jinxing myself, I have to admit that Christmas break is going pretty well around here. The kids – who often turn sibling rivalry into a higher art form – have been kind to each other, playing together, helping each other and snuggling in to watch holiday specials. Our tween – who just turned 11, but often shows glimpses of her future teenage self – has been a true delight with sweetness and a general cooperative spirit. Meantime, our 8-year-old son has been peacefully playing and entertaining himself, reorganizing his room, and creating decorations / banners / surprises for his sister's birthday.


We've enjoyed seeing old friends who have returned home for the holidays, spent time with family members, celebrated a birthday, had play dates, and appreciated lots of down time to just enjoy being a family.


To top it all off, the house is clean, laundry is done and put away, nice meals have been consumed (albeit with a few complaints from my picky eater), even more meals have been prepared and frozen for the future, and the dogs haven't eaten any shoes or human toys yet. We've all enjoyed sleeping in or taking an occasional nap. I'm not even behind on anything at work.

Oh yeah, work. That place I haven't been to for over a week. Maybe that's why things are kicking along so well at home. 


I've always worked and truly enjoy it, but as the kids get older, it seems like they need me more than they did when they were little. Sure, they don't need to be diapered or closely supervised. Yes, they help with chores and are pretty self-sufficient. But navigating the waters of middle school is something my husband and I need to be there to help them with. Of course, they may not say it in so many words, but we can see how important our ubiquitous support is to them.


Our children attend an academically-challenging Christian school and the homework is becoming a bigger part of their life, as are their extracurricular activities. Friendships are becoming more complex than, "Hey, do you want to play with my truck?" We know that many of the friends they make today will be their friends long into the future and we want to help them build strong relationships.


So, how can I make this work once Christmas break is over? Well, I guess I'll go back to my normal juggling act performed with far less sleep than I need. I'll continue to pray for wisdom, patience and the ability to meet my family's – and clients' – needs as well as I can. And I'll just keep reminding myself that the next nirvana is just around the corner when Spring break arrives.

Mommy's Letter to Santa

It's that time of year when kids pour out their hearts to Santa about how good they've been and what gifts they want. This year my daughter has put a request on her list that will definitely not be fulfilled. No, we will not be flying Bethany Hamilton to the middle of Illinois in the middle of winter to meet our daughter.


For those of you who don't know who Bethany Hamilton is, she's a teenage professional surfer and shark attack victim who, through the strength of her faith and family, continues to surf and inspire. This year's movie Soul Surfer was based on her life. I'm glad that my daughter has chosen a hard-working Christian girl to serve as a role model, but I just don't have the connections or financial means to bring Bethany to central Illinois – I also don't have the heart to bring a Hawaii native to our cold winter climate.


However, it did make me start thinking. If my daughter can ask for something that is unlikely to happen, then maybe I ought to write my own letter to Santa. Here's how it would go:


Dear Santa,
I have been very good this year. I've taken good care of my children, husband and pets. I've worked hard at my job and have volunteered for numerous activities. So here is what I hope you can bring me:


• A self-cleaning house
• One whole shower by myself without either child or either dog needing "something very important"
• A self-filling gas tank
• Time to read an entire book – just for fun
• The ability to lose 10 pounds without trying
• A short weekend getaway with my husband – while Mary Poppins spends time with our kids and dogs
• Time to cook the types of meals I'd really like to prepare
• The opportunity to watch a non-animated movie – and stay awake for the whole thing
• Beautiful holiday snow – but not on the roads
• Children who never argue with each other (or me, for that matter!)
• The ability to sing and dance like a pro
• And finally, a really good night's sleep!


Thank you very much, Santa! My best to you and the wife,
Michelle

Innovative App Streamlines Activities for Early Educators ... and Strengthens Provider-Parent Relationship

Our marketing team introduced HeartStrings Mobile last month at the naeyc Expo where it was received with great enthusiasm by childcare providers, preschool teachers, facility directors and industry professionals. 


The introductory version of HeartStrings Mobile connects providers to parents with integrated messaging, photo sharing and Daily Activity Reports within a comprehensive iPhone app. HSM also provided enhanced safety with photo IDs for authorized (and unauthorized) pick-ups, access to emergency information and important details about each child.

Primary parent enters details about other family members, nannies,
neighbors, etc., in the Parent Version of HSM.

Teachers and other care providers see details about the child and his relatives in the
Facility Version. An Attendance feature is planned for Version 2.0.

Facility Version also shows a photo of the individuals who are allowed
(and not allowed) to pick up the children.

Additional features and enhancements are already in development, including in-app attendance records, message blasts to all parents (even those who don’t have the app), and the ability to save and print Daily Activity Reports.

The Facility version of the iPhone app is free to preschool and childcare professionals. Parents, grandparents and other related individuals make a one-time purchase through the iTunes Store which entitles them to current features and future upgrades. HeartStrings Mobile is offering an introductory price of $3.99 for the Parent Version. A demo of HSM features is available on the home page of HeartStrings Mobile.

Can Boys Play With "Girl" Toys?

Snuggling my 5-month-old niece at our family Thanksgiving celebration, I smiled as my two-year-old male cousin wandered toward the kitchen set and started to play. His grandfather said, "Don't get used to that, your dad won't want you to play with it." Wait. What?


I made a gentle comment about how our 8-year-old son asked for a doll when he was two and Santa brought it to him. My son rarely gets "Baby Alex" out of his toy cubbies any more, but for several years, he played with Baby Alex, holding him, feeding him, dressing him, taking him places – in JUST the same way he had observed his own father caring for him. I mentioned this to the boy's grandfather explaining that our son was merely emulating how his dad changed his diaper, snuggled him and participated in his daily activities.


I understand that my uncle (the tyke's grandpa) is very traditional, but the world has changed and BOTH parents are often actively involved in the daily routines of their children. Yet, even among my peers there are dads who won't let their boys have "girl" toys – or even cringe if they see their sons playing with such toys at preschool or with friends. The NAEYC even 


Past Meets Present
Was I worried that playing with a doll occasionally would create gender identity issues for my son? Absolutely not! My son also played with trucks, he climbed all over the furniture fearlessly and enjoyed a variety of traditional "boy" playthings. He is a boy – but he's a boy who may become a dad someday. Should we have taught him that caring for a child (in this case, a doll) isn't appropriate or acceptable? No way!


Fast forward to my son today. He climbs trees, goes to campouts with friends, loves Batman and Indiana Jones, plays spy, is a Boy Scout, and runs around with pretend weapons whenever he can. (We never wanted our child to play with weapons, yet we quickly discovered that a boy somehow intuitively creates weapons out of everything from LEGOs to grilled cheese sandwiches. But I digress – boys and toy weapons is a whole other post.)

My son is a BOY. He plays hard and he plays rough. But he is also kind and gentle. I loved watching him in church a few days ago as he smiled and waved at the bored toddler in front of us. After church, he asked if he could talk to the little guy – my son's eyes were soft and kind as he talked to the child and gently patted his hand. My son is going to be an awesome dad someday – and perhaps some of those parenting skills began with a Christmas gift known as Baby Alex.

Working Hand-in-Hand: Home and School

As I contrast my childhood education with that of my two children (ages eight and eleven), I am constantly reminded at the difference in the expectations of today's students – and their parents.

We have always been actively involved with our children, reading to them from the time they were born, stocking the house with kid-friendly books, taking them to museums, doing craft projects and getting them involved with music from the time they were little (starting with KinderMusik programs). Now they're getting older and the homework expectations are much greater – in both quantity and quality.

Our fifth-grade daughter is doing algebra while our third-grade son is doing geometry. Both children completed a leaf project in third grade – something I did as a seventh grade student. Granted, they weren't expected to go into as much depth with research as I did, but still, it's a "big kid" project. Our daughter is doing monthly oral book reports of various genres including her most recent one based on a piece of historical fiction – in reality, these book reports are speeches comparable to what I was doing in junior high or beyond. Of course, they're both already learning to type, something I took as a high-school elective when my grandfather encouraged me to prepare to "be a secretary".

When I read several articles in the last few days about a report from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (O.E.C.D) which conducts exams for the Program for International Student Assessment (PISA), I was again reminded how important parental involvement is. However, I am not a "helicopter parent" who hovers over every last spelling word and math problem. Of course, I'll help my children with specific subject matter and help them study for tests, but my husband and I strongly believe that our kids need to stand on their own two feet and take responsibility for a certain amount of their academics and extracurricular activities. Our children aren't overly involved in school activities (their choice), but they each have piano lessons, Scouts and our oldest is also in the band.

We certainly hope we are providing them with the foundation they need for future success. The study identified three key findings in regard to the outcomes based on parental involvement.

1.             Fifteen-year-old students whose parents often read books with them during their first year of primary school show markedly higher scores in PISA than students whose parents read with them infrequently or not at all.

2.             The performance advantage among students whose parents read to them in their early school years is evident regardless of the family’s socioeconomic background. 

3.             Parents’ engagement with their 15-year-olds is strongly associated with better performance in PISA.

So, how do we find the balance between providing the support our children need without preventing them from taking responsibility and growing into self-sufficient adults? I don't have the answer – we keep moving forward and adapting as our children change and grow. The report, as expressed by Thomas Friedman in the New York Times Opinion Pages, shares what makes a difference.

The study, called “Back to School: How parent involvement affects student achievement,” found something “somewhat surprising,” wrote Barth: “Parent involvement can take many forms, but only a few of them relate to higher student performance. Of those that work, parental actions that support children’s learning at home are most likely to have an impact on academic achievement at school.

“Monitoring homework; making sure children get to school; rewarding their efforts and talking up the idea of going to college. These parent actions are linked to better attendance, grades, test scores, and preparation for college,” Barth wrote. “The study found that getting parents involved with their children’s learning at home is a more powerful driver of achievement than parents attending P.T.A. and school board meetings, volunteering in classrooms, participating in fund-raising, and showing up at back-to-school nights.”

Let's all keep doing our best, knowing that the benefactors are our children.

The Squeaky Wheel ... No Longer Gets MY Grease

Watching the news tonight, they previewed “Gabby”, the book about Gabrielle Giffords’ recovery from a tragic shooting. Earlier in the broadcast they talked about the Joe Paterno scandal. Resilience of the human spirit is often overshadowed by drama and poor choices, but I choose to focus on stories like Gabby Giffords and her intern Daniel Hernandez who stay by her side in her time of need. I will root for true winners like J.R. Martinez who sustained severe burns while serving in the Army – and who continues to serve and inspire others.

I choose to think about my neighbor in the Reserves who is about to be deployed. I pray for the young women I know who have escaped from an abusive relationship – and those who were unable to escape or still want to. Instead of remembering the long lines we stood in for TSA security at the airport, I will remember the applause we heard walking toward our gate as we saw a soldier returning home. I will not glorify celebrity marriages lasting only 72 days. I will, however, recognize those who quietly show their commitment everyday – as parents, spouses, teachers, pastors and friends. 

Tugging at My HeartStrings

Some moments I'm a marketer. But EVERY moment I'm a mommy. And today, those personas are conflicted. I am so very excited to be going to the National Association for the Education of Young Children (naeyc) Conference and Expo, but it just breaks my heart knowing my kids are sad about me leaving.


During my 20's, I was on the road a lot – commuting a long distance to work and traveling quite a bit. I loved it even though it was sometimes exhausting. Of course, I missed my husband when I was gone, but there's just something different about leaving your children. Other than sleepovers the kids have had with relatives or friends (and a two-night stay I had for a C-section with baby 2), I haven't been away from my kids for this long.


Yes, there are times they absolutely drive me crazy. And yes, helping kids with math and spelling homework, reminding them to practice their instruments, and enforcing the rules does get boring. But they're my kids. They're the reason my husband and I have chosen to remain self-employed in spite of a horrible economy – we have the freedom to participate in school activities and avoid things like extensive business travel or corporate-mandated transfers. Don't get me wrong – I'm not one of those parents who is so wrapped up in her children that she will has neglected other aspects of her life. Having a strong and committed relationship with my husband is the foundation our children can rely on.


Yet, when my daughter kept hugging me today and asking, "Do you really have to go?", it's hard. Especially since it's Halloween and I'm going to Orlando – the very place they've been asking to go. And when my son quietly slipped a note into the offering plate yesterday asking, "Please pray for my mom to have a safe trip.", it pains me to the very core of my mama bear soul.


I know my husband will take awesome care of them. He is one amazing man – he can run our business while I'm gone, pack lunches, build Legos, give our daughter a pedicure and take care of our volunteer activities at their school. But whose sweaty forehead will I kiss good-night? Whose glasses will I take off (for the millionth time) because he or she fell asleep reading? How will I hear about their day with the excitement they have the very minute I pick them up from school?

I'm so excited about the business opportunity we have ahead of us at this Expo ... but know this. Even while I'm being Michelle the Marketer talking to clients and being my professional best, my kids will be so very close to my heart. All I have to do is reach up and touch the heart-shaped necklace they gave me for Christmas last year. The one that came with an inscription that says, "A Mother Holds Her Childs Hand For A Short While And Their Hearts Forever". 

Choosing a Preschool

As I dropped my 5th grade daughter off at early morning band practice weighed down with her instrument and a backpack full of "big kid" books, it seems like it's only been a few minutes since we made the decision about starting her in preschool. Now we're thinking about high school and college.

I had been home full-time with Bridgette since she was born (except for doing a few freelance projects), so she was a bit hesitant about starting preschool. Fortunately, she was going to a preschool at our church and would be there with her two best friends that she had known since birth. She ultimately did fine, but I sure missed that little one during the three hours she was gone those days.


If you're in the process of choosing a preschool, here's an article with content provided by the naeyc (National Association for the Education of Young Children).


In the meantime, to help remind you how fast our little ones grow up, here are two pictures. Bridgette with her bestie as two-year-olds, on their first day of kindergarten and now as girls on the cusp of being 11.

See you in Orlando!

Let's get this party started. See you in 26 days!

Who's in Charge?

When I was picking up my children from day camp yesterday, a dad and his daughter came in to check out the day camp and its private school. While the staff was giving him a sales pitch, he pointed to his 5-year-old daughter and engaged her by saying, "What do you think?" Then he looked at the staff member and explained smiling, "I'm a single dad, so she runs the house."


Wait. What? The kid is in charge?


Based on what I've observed, they're not the only family with that dynamic – he's just one of the few to verbalize it. And then today, I heard a radio commercial that asked the question, "Having a hard time keeping the kids busy this summer?"


Wait. What? It's my job to provide 24/7 entertainment and activities to my children?


I love my kids to death and would do anything for them. I also try to provide them with opportunities to do fun activities and learn more about things that interest them, but I'm not their personal activities director. We don't live in the dark ages – we have all the electronic gadgets and probably spend way too much time in front of the TV – but my husband and I also like to see them stretch their minds and their muscles. 


Today my 7-year-old son and his buddy have had so much fun as "Captain America" and "his sidekick". I'm not even sure if Captain America actually has a sidekick, but nonetheless, they have been non-stop busy ALL day riding bikes, climbing trees, making themselves snacks ("No thanks, Mom, we can do it."), changing clothes to create their own "costumes" and generally just being boys. 


So, if someone were to peek inside your home, who would they say is in charge? It's something to think about as we strive to help our children grow into responsible, thoughtful and respectful individuals.

Beyond Perfection

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm a perfectionist about some things - spelling and grammar, for one. It drives me crazy when the newspaper or TV station have words misspelled or use blatantly poor grammar. 


But when it comes to my kids – the only thing I see is the heart that went into their perfect works of art.

What the world needs now...

The world is filled with many things I wish would go away for the sake of my children. Wars. Illegal drugs. Poverty. Hatred. So many things that we'd all be better off without.


But there's one thing I don't see nearly as much as previous generations did – racial prejudice. Sure, it's still there on some levels, but not the way it was when my grandparents were living. A friend of mine is in the process of fostering-to-adopt a sweet little baby, who happens to be of another race. She was sharing the concern she has about what one of her elderly relatives might say.

My daughter was caught off guard by this. In her mind, the color of a person's skin is no different than the color of their shoes. We talked about it with our kids and explained to them what segregation was like in our country, not that long ago. We shared with them how white and black children used different drinking fountains and went to different schools. And how adults often couldn't see past racial barriers. That led them to the realization that if we were still living in such a society they would be missing out on many of their valued friendships.


We are blessed to be living in a world – and a neighborhood – where we have friends of all different backgrounds living together in harmony, caring for each other. And we are blessed to be living in a time during which prejudice isn't something we deal with on a regular basis.


Sure, our world isn't perfect. But we're making progress.

How to Raise a Reader

I've always loved to read. Some of my fondest memories are of my grandmother taking me to the public library in our small town. It was like the bar in Cheers - everyone knew our names. Grandma always had the latest books on her waiting list - those hot books could only be checked out for a week at a time, while the others could be kept for two.


I would browse my sections of the library - first the little kid section, then I graduated to the chapter books. We'd check out our stacks of books and head back out into the heat before arriving home to read our books in the cool comfort of her air conditioned home.


My love of reading continued throughout my life, peaking when I was pregnant with each of my children. The luxury of relaxing in my glider, feeling my babies kick while consuming a wide range of novels, was a magical time in my life.

But after the kids were born, my reading shifted to Goodnight Moon, Guess How Much I Love You and God Gave Us You. We read to the babies from the time they were very young. We had (still have) books in many rooms throughout the house - short bookshelves in their rooms, baskets of books in the living room, books in the diaper bag and car, books always within in reach.


Then I returned to work, first freelancing, then part-time and eventually full-time. The kids could now read their own books and had even advanced to large chapter books, which they read in record time. During my adult life, my own reading had first given way to picture books with the kids, and then to business books and magazines like The Big Idea, The Personal MBA, BusinessWeek and so on.


Reading for pleasure just seemed like too much of a luxury as a mom with 2 businesses, 2 kids, 2 dogs, 1 husband and a never-ending To Do list. But this summer, I've gradually started to allow myself this luxury again. I love getting lost in a book, reading until my eyes can't stay open any more. Whether reading on the iPad or flipping the pages of a traditional book, the words of a good writer pull me in to places I've never been.


Now as the summer continues to heat up and the kids are out of school, I'm doing one more thing to reinforce their love of reading. I'm letting myself read for fun, too. Yesterday was a blistering hot day so we headed to the library (at their request). We each came out with a stack of books and they opened their books the minute we got to the car. We had such a wonderful quiet evening last night while all of us read together, in our own worlds – yet very much together.

Having a Ball

This past weekend, my husband took the kids to a minor league baseball game with a group from our church. Our little guy, James, hasn't shown a huge interest in sports but we've always encouraged him to give it a try. He played soccer for one year in school, but that was it. James is a tree-climbing, "bad-guy" chasing, pirate-imagining, bike-riding kind of boy. He definitely gets plenty of exercise and plays hard, but he's never gotten excited about organized sports.


But just a few days ago, he was playing baseball with some neighborhood kids. Even though they were a bit younger than him, they had more experience. Yet, they were so encouraging as they all played together and he was so excited.


So when the baseball game around Sunday, even before church, he packed up his little blue baseball glove and a ball cap. You see, HE was going to catch a baseball today. Never mind that he is still on the early side of learning to catch a ball gently thrown to him. Never mind the unlikely odds of a ball coming to him. Never mind the fact that he usually plays with his friends instead of watching a ball game.


When my husband and kids got home, my daughter, Bridgette, told me how she'd danced on top of the dugout with some friends. All the while, James was grinning clutching his ball glove to his chest, obviously hiding something. What was he hiding? An ice pack. What!? 


While my husband and daughter went to get a drink, James remained seated with some of our friends. Believe or not, the ball came right at him – he held his glove over my friend's head (such a gentleman!) and reached, reached, reached for a ball that landed with a big thud on his shoulder. By the time my husband got back, James was surrounded by people including a representative of the ball team who insisted that he be checked out (hence the ice pack).


So much for catching that elusive ball. Not exactly. Sitting several rows ahead of him was a young man who had just graduated from the same school James and Bridgette go to. Eli grabbed the errant ball and gave it to James. 


Wow! Not only did James now have a minor league baseball, but it was given to him by one of the "big kids" from his school. I can't say I'm surprised. Eli is part of a generous and loving family. In addition, the upper grade students at our Christian school do a wonderful job of caring for the little guys. No, I'm not surprised at all. That's just who Eli is. In spite of being on the verge of high school, he was looking out for a seven-year-old boy instead of himself.

James was so touched that he encased his special ball in an overturned plastic toy tub and taped it to his desk. He then asked me to take a picture of him so he could include it in his thank you note to Eli. There are some pretty awesome kids in our midst – and I'm blessed to know several of them.

Virtual Bad Guys

As parents, we know it's important to protect our children from the "bad guys" out on the street, but it's just as important (maybe even more so) to protect them from "virtual bad guys". This article provides some good tips to ensure that your FB page (and your teen's) are more secure.


Also, did you know that some experts estimate more than 5 million children are under age 11 and a total of 7.1 million are under the legal Facebook age of 13?


What's your stance on this? Our nearly 11-year-old daughter would love to be on Facebook, but she knows it's not happening. In fact, she has told us that she thinks it's "wrong" for kids to go against the rules. (So far, so good.) But unfortunately, quite a few of her friends are on Facebook – and these are kids who attend a Christian school that teaches the importance of honesty and integrity. Now, these aren't bad kids. In fact, they're pretty awesome. But what does it say when we allow our kids to "agree" that they're 13 when signing up for an account or if we show them how to lie to get around the age requirement?


Many of these kids are on Facebook to play games or stay in touch with distant relatives. But some of their FB friends may have other FB friends that don't have the same values that their parents are striving to teach them. Tell me what you think. Where do we draw the line to protect our kids? What safety strategies do you have in place? The world continues to change and technology is driving it. As parents, our job evolves every day and we need each other to protect our kids.

What's your stuff?

Today is going better than yesterday. Kind of. After driving off cheerfully to pick up the kids and fix them a yummy lunch, I managed to drop an egg all over the kitchen floor. Have you ever tried to pick up a stringy egg off the floor while simultaneously preventing the dogs from eating it and juggling the rest of the meal you've already started? Good times!

But the next time I turned on the radio, I heard this song that fit my mood pretty well. I hope you enjoy this song called, "This Is The Stuff" by Francesca Battistelli.

My egg might have cracked, broken and spilled all over the floor into a sticky mess, but my spirit wasn't shattered. As Francesca says, "In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed." May you be blessed, too!

Are we there yet?

Not to a physical destination ... but back to the school year. 


Just a few days ago I was thinking to myself, "I can't believe the kids will be back in school in less than 2 months! We still have so much to do. So much fun to be had. So many great memories to create."


Last night, as I sipped chilled chardonnay, my thought changed to, "When will this end?"


It was one of those days where the kids don't appreciate anything you've done for them. They only want more. Even though they're almost 8 and 11, they don't seem to realize how much extra work it makes when they leave a trail of ice cream sandwich wrappers throughout the house, change clothes 5 times a day, traipse mud into the house, leave toys out for the dogs to snack on and are being driven to every great summer activity imaginable. They're smart kids. They're polite and respectful to adults. They know our expectations. They CAN be responsible, but life has become a free-for-all for them. 


Since the kids have gotten out of school, we've gone on a mini vacation, attended swimming lessons, scheduled countless playdates (which reminds me – I need to return a phone call), provided them with fun classes (animation, movie making, secret agent lab, LEGO camp), crafts galore and given them plenty of time to just run and play with their friends. 


And oh yeah, my husband and I still have jobs as owners of two companies.


So, when my friend Kim picked up her son from our house yesterday, we talked. Each spring she and I get out our calendars and color-code a plan for the summer including all of the fun I mentioned above. We watch each other's kids one day a week and shuttle them where they need – or want – to go. Since our sons are best friends (2 peas in a pod, she calls them), this is a wonderful treat for them and helps us both with our summer childcare needs. 


We talked about when we were kids. Our summer activities consisted of heading out the door after breakfast, running or biking around the neighborhood, and returning home for meals and bedtime. Sure, we're giving our kids plenty of those opportunities, too, but they just don't seem to appreciate ANY of the opportunities we give them. Yes, they enjoy them at the time – but then they come home and grump about wanting more. Shouldn't they be relaxed and happy? After all, the days are filled with fun instead of homework.


Kim and I (and our spouses) are the types of parents that expect our children to show respect and do age-appropriate chores – while also allowing them the freedom to be kids. But today's world seems to create such an entitlement mentality among young people. It's something we continue to combat – finding the balance between giving our children good opportunities without them taking it all for granted.


So, we continue to do our best as parents, knowing that we'll have those "good" days ... and days like yesterday. But they all come together to create another memory-filled summer. So here's to memories – cheers!

Wanna be my friend?

James is so shy and nervous about going to summer camp. He cried again this morning and tearfully told us why it's such a "bad" place to go. (Full disclosure: It's a great day camp in a new air-conditioned building where they do fun activities with great leaders.) But for him, it's bad because none of his everyday friends are there.

But today, he ran to me with excitement when I picked him up. "Mom, guess what! There was a boy in line and I said, 'Do you want to be my friend?' And then he said, 'Yes, I like Batman LEGOs.' And now we're friends. Come meet him!"

As grown-ups, we sometimes end up in situations where we don't know anyone – when sending the kids to a new school, moving into a new neighborhood, getting transferred for work or attending a fundraiser. We awkwardly stand around and wait for someone to approach us, while everyone else seemingly has the gift of gab. So we think about our opening line: What do you think about this weather? Did you see the game last night? I love your dress.

Wouldn't it be easier if we could be as direct, simple and innocent as James was? Then we could just march up to another adult, stick out our hand and say, "You wanna be my friend?" After all, they may be thinking the exact same thing.

Movies, Games and Books – What's appropriate?

When your kids are clamoring to see the latest movie, do you automatically agree or do you conduct research to determine if it's age-appropriate? Who/where do you turn to find out if the movie (or video game or book) matches up with your values?


I've noticed that more parents are giving unintended reviews in their Facebook posts as they say things like, "Funny movie, but lots of potty humor". I've also found a great resource for family friendly reviews. Visit CommonSense Media to learn more. You can also sign up to receive periodic emails from this site which rates various media based on Educational Value, Positive Messages, Sexy Stuff, Consumerism, etc.


As parents, it's up to us to make sure our children are being fed appropriate information that fits with our own family's values. Let me know who helps you make choices.

Happy Campers

Last night my son, James, went to his first campout. Sure, he's spent the night with his best friend and with relatives, but this was different.


I was torn. As a mom who knows that this little guy is my last-born child, I'm not ready for my "baby" to spend a night in the great outdoors. I was worried that his buddies would laugh at him because his thumb still finds its way to his mouth while he sleeps. I wondered how he'd do sleeping on a cold hard ground on a night when thunderstorms were expected. And finally, before I went to bed, I missed kissing his clammy little forehead good-night.


On the other hand, I was ready for him to experience some of the same fun his buddies have had in Boy Scouts (something he declined to get involved with). I didn't want him to miss out on fun with all the boys in his class, especially since he tends to be shy and stick closely to his very best buddies. I also knew that it would be a rockin' good party with a mom who's a science teacher and always has lots of fun activities.


It took some persuasive talking by several of us, but he went to the birthday campout, knowing that he could call us at any point and we'd come pick him up. Yes, it rained that night. No, he didn't like sleeping on the rocky ground. Yes, he jumped on the trampoline and didn't break a bone or get a concussion. No, he didn't call us. Yes, he did get to catch bugs and play with water balloons. No, he didn't get a kiss good-night.


But he and I did get something. James realized he could try a lot of new things and spend the night outdoors with all his buddies. And I'm gradually learning to let my little bird leave the nest – as long as he comes back the next day.


When my tired little bird returned, he told me that he had a great time and then asked, "Mom, can you and I snuggle for awhile?" So, snuggle we did. I stroked his hair, his thumb popped into his mouth and he drifted off to sleep on a nice warm comfy bed.

Popsicles and Play Dates

Yep, it's summer all right! This past week has been a blur of kids running in and out of the house. Trips to swimming lessons. Driving carloads of kids to and from VBS. Our supply of popsicles and ice cream is dwindling as fast as the messes are growing.


I remember when my husband and I built this house. It seemed too big for us 13 years ago when we first moved in. We had lots of empty rooms and a big unfinished basement. Now the only thing that's unfinished is my long list of household chores.


My husband and I are self-employed which provides us with some degree of flexibility. And an even larger responsibility to make things happen for ourselves and our staff. Summer is one of those times that the juggling act seems literal as we move through the days wiping faces, serving snacks and meeting the demands of clients.
Fortunately, we live in a friendly neighborhood with kids galore. One night last week was the epitome of summer – kids running up and down the street playing with all their friends, climbing trees and riding bikes, while the adults visited (occasionally casting a glance at the kids, doing a mental head count). The blissful days in which children run outside when the sun comes up and don't come in till the sun goes back down again. We've said good-bye to TV, video games and computers – and are stretching our legs and imaginations. Could it get any better than this?


"I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always June." L. M. Montgomery

New Hallways and Old Memories

Today was the last day of school.


As we typically do, my husband and I were there to take photos of our own kids, as well as our friends' children. But today was different. It was our son's last day in the primary wing – our last day, too, since our daughter started school five years ago.


No more trips down the hallway with the close-to-the-ground coat hooks. No more teachers helping put on boots on cold days. No more artwork with stick figure people. Our son had tears in his eyes as he hugged his teacher good-bye. I did, too.


And then it was time for our daughter to make her "turn" from the third and fourth grade hallway to the REALLY big kid hallway where the fifth–eighth grade students are. Big kid lockers, harder school work, more peer pressure. It's a big deal. Even more painful is the fact that her best friend will be moving out of state soon for her father's job.

In fifth grade, a best friend means everything. Someone to share your fears, excitement, questions. Someone to talk to about parents, teachers and yes, even about boys. Sure, we'll arrange some play dates before they leave – and they both have email accounts. But it won't be the same. As a mom, I ache for my daughter. She's had this happen too many times before in her young life.


We do what we can for our kids to support their friendships and growth, but there are some things they must go through alone. Like the first day of school next year when she'll start fifth grade without her bestie. 


Finally, after many hugs and good-byes to friends, teachers and administrators, we leave the school building. "I'm gonna miss this place," my 7-year-old Alex says. "Me too," says 10-year-old Jenni, "I love this school." And we walk slowly to the car.

The Beginnings of This Blog

Yes, we've made it past the baby and toddler years where we spent our days protecting our children from choking hazards, falling down the steps and all the "little kid" risks.


But now we've moved on to those precarious years of grade school. How do we handle bullying, fear of new experiences and sassiness?


In The Return of Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock himself states, "Elementary, dear Watson, Elementary." I'm pretty sure he wasn't talking about elementary school, because that's far more complex than any mystery Holmes ever unraveled. Join us as we search for clues to elementary school kids – and the parents who travel this road with them.