Monday, October 31, 2011

Tugging at My HeartStrings

Some moments I'm a marketer. But EVERY moment I'm a mommy. And today, those personas are conflicted. I am so very excited to be going to the National Association for the Education of Young Children (naeyc) Conference and Expo, but it just breaks my heart knowing my kids are sad about me leaving.


During my 20's, I was on the road a lot – commuting a long distance to work and traveling quite a bit. I loved it even though it was sometimes exhausting. Of course, I missed my husband when I was gone, but there's just something different about leaving your children. Other than sleepovers the kids have had with relatives or friends (and a two-night stay I had for a C-section with baby 2), I haven't been away from my kids for this long.


Yes, there are times they absolutely drive me crazy. And yes, helping kids with math and spelling homework, reminding them to practice their instruments, and enforcing the rules does get boring. But they're my kids. They're the reason my husband and I have chosen to remain self-employed in spite of a horrible economy – we have the freedom to participate in school activities and avoid things like extensive business travel or corporate-mandated transfers. Don't get me wrong – I'm not one of those parents who is so wrapped up in her children that she will has neglected other aspects of her life. Having a strong and committed relationship with my husband is the foundation our children can rely on.


Yet, when my daughter kept hugging me today and asking, "Do you really have to go?", it's hard. Especially since it's Halloween and I'm going to Orlando – the very place they've been asking to go. And when my son quietly slipped a note into the offering plate yesterday asking, "Please pray for my mom to have a safe trip.", it pains me to the very core of my mama bear soul.


I know my husband will take awesome care of them. He is one amazing man – he can run our business while I'm gone, pack lunches, build Legos, give our daughter a pedicure and take care of our volunteer activities at their school. But whose sweaty forehead will I kiss good-night? Whose glasses will I take off (for the millionth time) because he or she fell asleep reading? How will I hear about their day with the excitement they have the very minute I pick them up from school?


I'm so excited about the business opportunity we have ahead of us at this Expo ... but know this. Even while I'm being Michelle the Marketer talking to clients and being my professional best, my kids will be so very close to my heart. All I have to do is reach up and touch the heart-shaped necklace they gave me for Christmas last year. The one that came with an inscription that says, "A Mother Holds Her Childs Hand For A Short While And Their Hearts Forever". 

No comments:

Post a Comment