Can Boys Play With "Girl" Toys?

Snuggling my 5-month-old niece at our family Thanksgiving celebration, I smiled as my two-year-old male cousin wandered toward the kitchen set and started to play. His grandfather said, "Don't get used to that, your dad won't want you to play with it." Wait. What?


I made a gentle comment about how our 8-year-old son asked for a doll when he was two and Santa brought it to him. My son rarely gets "Baby Alex" out of his toy cubbies any more, but for several years, he played with Baby Alex, holding him, feeding him, dressing him, taking him places – in JUST the same way he had observed his own father caring for him. I mentioned this to the boy's grandfather explaining that our son was merely emulating how his dad changed his diaper, snuggled him and participated in his daily activities.


I understand that my uncle (the tyke's grandpa) is very traditional, but the world has changed and BOTH parents are often actively involved in the daily routines of their children. Yet, even among my peers there are dads who won't let their boys have "girl" toys – or even cringe if they see their sons playing with such toys at preschool or with friends. The NAEYC even 


Past Meets Present
Was I worried that playing with a doll occasionally would create gender identity issues for my son? Absolutely not! My son also played with trucks, he climbed all over the furniture fearlessly and enjoyed a variety of traditional "boy" playthings. He is a boy – but he's a boy who may become a dad someday. Should we have taught him that caring for a child (in this case, a doll) isn't appropriate or acceptable? No way!


Fast forward to my son today. He climbs trees, goes to campouts with friends, loves Batman and Indiana Jones, plays spy, is a Boy Scout, and runs around with pretend weapons whenever he can. (We never wanted our child to play with weapons, yet we quickly discovered that a boy somehow intuitively creates weapons out of everything from LEGOs to grilled cheese sandwiches. But I digress – boys and toy weapons is a whole other post.)

My son is a BOY. He plays hard and he plays rough. But he is also kind and gentle. I loved watching him in church a few days ago as he smiled and waved at the bored toddler in front of us. After church, he asked if he could talk to the little guy – my son's eyes were soft and kind as he talked to the child and gently patted his hand. My son is going to be an awesome dad someday – and perhaps some of those parenting skills began with a Christmas gift known as Baby Alex.