Life is a Game

Well, not really. But you can learn a lot about life from playing games. 


During the winter break, we spent quite a bit of time playing games with our children – both traditional board games and video games on the Wii. At each stage of a child's life, playing games can provide valuable lessons.


Toddlers and Preschoolers
At this age, children can learn some some important fundamentals when playing games with grown-ups. One of the biggest things they learn is about taking turns and being patient. When playing games with children of this age, it's important that each person's turn be relatively short to align with the children's short attention span. That doesn't mean it should be a frenetic, fast-paced crazy game – just one that moves along steadily. In addition, games should be short, averaging less than 30 minutes at a time.


Many games for young children teach them about colors, counting and letters. Quite often, games have a "junior" version that can be used until they're old enough for the "real" one. These include Monopoly, Scrabble and many others. In addition, games for the Wii or other active games (Duck, Duck, Goose) provide an opportunity to exercise and burn off some of that youthful energy.


Primary to Middle School Children
By the time kids are in school and reading, they can move on to many more games. Two of the most critical lessons children learn at this age are about integrity and fairness. Examples of how integrity can be modeled and coached is to be sure everyone follows the basic rules – don't hide a "bad" card or Scrabble tile, don't move your marker when someone isn't looking and don't lie about any aspect of the game.


You can praise their honesty as well as provide consequences for deceit. For example, "Susie, you may not hide cards that you don't like. If you do that again, you'll need to take a break from playing while the rest of us continue with the game." When starting up the next round or game, invite Susie to come back and join the fun with a reminder to be honest.


Fairness is a tough lesson to teach as there are two sides to the coin. First of all, fairness means playing according to the rules and expectations of the other players. This relates closely to the integrity lesson explained above. However, there's also the "life isn't fair" element. Sometimes, even when you play by the rules and are a good sport, you will lose. Unfortunately, this is part of life and playing games with loved ones is a safe place to learn that lesson.


In the previous paragraph, I mention being a good sport. Unfortunately, many adults still haven't learned this. It's important for the adults players to demonstrate how to be both a good winner and a good loser. In addition to being a good sport when playing with children, it's wise to be a good example when playing with adults (kids are very observant) and when watching athletic events (in person or on TV). This is a great time to teach them that good winners don't gloat or mock the losing players, and that good losers don't pout and storm away from the game table, but instead express their congratulations to the winner.


Junior High and High School
By this time, games are more complex and can stretch your teen's mind. Games like Trivial Pursuit expose the players to a wide range of topics while games like Chess encourage critical thinking and strategic planning. 


But at this age, the most important aspect of playing games is to keep those lines of communication open in a non-threatening way. Teens really DO need their parents, even if they won't admit it. This is one place where conversations may happen organically just by being together. Of course, teens love video games, so those may become a part of your family game time – be a good sport and play along.


Adults

Although I'm not ready to imagine my children as grown and married (and you probably aren't either), playing games as adults is a wonderful way to reconnect, laugh and share memories. Our family always spends time playing games during the holidays, usually ending up with laughter and good-natured teasing as grandparents try to rock Guitar Hero and the children sometimes beat the adults at trivia games.


Yes, games are a part of life. And they can make your life that much richer. Play on!