Having a Ball

This past weekend, my husband took the kids to a minor league baseball game with a group from our church. Our little guy, James, hasn't shown a huge interest in sports but we've always encouraged him to give it a try. He played soccer for one year in school, but that was it. James is a tree-climbing, "bad-guy" chasing, pirate-imagining, bike-riding kind of boy. He definitely gets plenty of exercise and plays hard, but he's never gotten excited about organized sports.


But just a few days ago, he was playing baseball with some neighborhood kids. Even though they were a bit younger than him, they had more experience. Yet, they were so encouraging as they all played together and he was so excited.


So when the baseball game around Sunday, even before church, he packed up his little blue baseball glove and a ball cap. You see, HE was going to catch a baseball today. Never mind that he is still on the early side of learning to catch a ball gently thrown to him. Never mind the unlikely odds of a ball coming to him. Never mind the fact that he usually plays with his friends instead of watching a ball game.


When my husband and kids got home, my daughter, Bridgette, told me how she'd danced on top of the dugout with some friends. All the while, James was grinning clutching his ball glove to his chest, obviously hiding something. What was he hiding? An ice pack. What!? 


While my husband and daughter went to get a drink, James remained seated with some of our friends. Believe or not, the ball came right at him – he held his glove over my friend's head (such a gentleman!) and reached, reached, reached for a ball that landed with a big thud on his shoulder. By the time my husband got back, James was surrounded by people including a representative of the ball team who insisted that he be checked out (hence the ice pack).


So much for catching that elusive ball. Not exactly. Sitting several rows ahead of him was a young man who had just graduated from the same school James and Bridgette go to. Eli grabbed the errant ball and gave it to James. 


Wow! Not only did James now have a minor league baseball, but it was given to him by one of the "big kids" from his school. I can't say I'm surprised. Eli is part of a generous and loving family. In addition, the upper grade students at our Christian school do a wonderful job of caring for the little guys. No, I'm not surprised at all. That's just who Eli is. In spite of being on the verge of high school, he was looking out for a seven-year-old boy instead of himself.

James was so touched that he encased his special ball in an overturned plastic toy tub and taped it to his desk. He then asked me to take a picture of him so he could include it in his thank you note to Eli. There are some pretty awesome kids in our midst – and I'm blessed to know several of them.

Virtual Bad Guys

As parents, we know it's important to protect our children from the "bad guys" out on the street, but it's just as important (maybe even more so) to protect them from "virtual bad guys". This article provides some good tips to ensure that your FB page (and your teen's) are more secure.


Also, did you know that some experts estimate more than 5 million children are under age 11 and a total of 7.1 million are under the legal Facebook age of 13?


What's your stance on this? Our nearly 11-year-old daughter would love to be on Facebook, but she knows it's not happening. In fact, she has told us that she thinks it's "wrong" for kids to go against the rules. (So far, so good.) But unfortunately, quite a few of her friends are on Facebook – and these are kids who attend a Christian school that teaches the importance of honesty and integrity. Now, these aren't bad kids. In fact, they're pretty awesome. But what does it say when we allow our kids to "agree" that they're 13 when signing up for an account or if we show them how to lie to get around the age requirement?


Many of these kids are on Facebook to play games or stay in touch with distant relatives. But some of their FB friends may have other FB friends that don't have the same values that their parents are striving to teach them. Tell me what you think. Where do we draw the line to protect our kids? What safety strategies do you have in place? The world continues to change and technology is driving it. As parents, our job evolves every day and we need each other to protect our kids.

What's your stuff?

Today is going better than yesterday. Kind of. After driving off cheerfully to pick up the kids and fix them a yummy lunch, I managed to drop an egg all over the kitchen floor. Have you ever tried to pick up a stringy egg off the floor while simultaneously preventing the dogs from eating it and juggling the rest of the meal you've already started? Good times!

But the next time I turned on the radio, I heard this song that fit my mood pretty well. I hope you enjoy this song called, "This Is The Stuff" by Francesca Battistelli.

My egg might have cracked, broken and spilled all over the floor into a sticky mess, but my spirit wasn't shattered. As Francesca says, "In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed." May you be blessed, too!

Are we there yet?

Not to a physical destination ... but back to the school year. 


Just a few days ago I was thinking to myself, "I can't believe the kids will be back in school in less than 2 months! We still have so much to do. So much fun to be had. So many great memories to create."


Last night, as I sipped chilled chardonnay, my thought changed to, "When will this end?"


It was one of those days where the kids don't appreciate anything you've done for them. They only want more. Even though they're almost 8 and 11, they don't seem to realize how much extra work it makes when they leave a trail of ice cream sandwich wrappers throughout the house, change clothes 5 times a day, traipse mud into the house, leave toys out for the dogs to snack on and are being driven to every great summer activity imaginable. They're smart kids. They're polite and respectful to adults. They know our expectations. They CAN be responsible, but life has become a free-for-all for them. 


Since the kids have gotten out of school, we've gone on a mini vacation, attended swimming lessons, scheduled countless playdates (which reminds me – I need to return a phone call), provided them with fun classes (animation, movie making, secret agent lab, LEGO camp), crafts galore and given them plenty of time to just run and play with their friends. 


And oh yeah, my husband and I still have jobs as owners of two companies.


So, when my friend Kim picked up her son from our house yesterday, we talked. Each spring she and I get out our calendars and color-code a plan for the summer including all of the fun I mentioned above. We watch each other's kids one day a week and shuttle them where they need – or want – to go. Since our sons are best friends (2 peas in a pod, she calls them), this is a wonderful treat for them and helps us both with our summer childcare needs. 


We talked about when we were kids. Our summer activities consisted of heading out the door after breakfast, running or biking around the neighborhood, and returning home for meals and bedtime. Sure, we're giving our kids plenty of those opportunities, too, but they just don't seem to appreciate ANY of the opportunities we give them. Yes, they enjoy them at the time – but then they come home and grump about wanting more. Shouldn't they be relaxed and happy? After all, the days are filled with fun instead of homework.


Kim and I (and our spouses) are the types of parents that expect our children to show respect and do age-appropriate chores – while also allowing them the freedom to be kids. But today's world seems to create such an entitlement mentality among young people. It's something we continue to combat – finding the balance between giving our children good opportunities without them taking it all for granted.


So, we continue to do our best as parents, knowing that we'll have those "good" days ... and days like yesterday. But they all come together to create another memory-filled summer. So here's to memories – cheers!

Wanna be my friend?

James is so shy and nervous about going to summer camp. He cried again this morning and tearfully told us why it's such a "bad" place to go. (Full disclosure: It's a great day camp in a new air-conditioned building where they do fun activities with great leaders.) But for him, it's bad because none of his everyday friends are there.

But today, he ran to me with excitement when I picked him up. "Mom, guess what! There was a boy in line and I said, 'Do you want to be my friend?' And then he said, 'Yes, I like Batman LEGOs.' And now we're friends. Come meet him!"

As grown-ups, we sometimes end up in situations where we don't know anyone – when sending the kids to a new school, moving into a new neighborhood, getting transferred for work or attending a fundraiser. We awkwardly stand around and wait for someone to approach us, while everyone else seemingly has the gift of gab. So we think about our opening line: What do you think about this weather? Did you see the game last night? I love your dress.

Wouldn't it be easier if we could be as direct, simple and innocent as James was? Then we could just march up to another adult, stick out our hand and say, "You wanna be my friend?" After all, they may be thinking the exact same thing.

Movies, Games and Books – What's appropriate?

When your kids are clamoring to see the latest movie, do you automatically agree or do you conduct research to determine if it's age-appropriate? Who/where do you turn to find out if the movie (or video game or book) matches up with your values?


I've noticed that more parents are giving unintended reviews in their Facebook posts as they say things like, "Funny movie, but lots of potty humor". I've also found a great resource for family friendly reviews. Visit CommonSense Media to learn more. You can also sign up to receive periodic emails from this site which rates various media based on Educational Value, Positive Messages, Sexy Stuff, Consumerism, etc.


As parents, it's up to us to make sure our children are being fed appropriate information that fits with our own family's values. Let me know who helps you make choices.

Happy Campers

Last night my son, James, went to his first campout. Sure, he's spent the night with his best friend and with relatives, but this was different.


I was torn. As a mom who knows that this little guy is my last-born child, I'm not ready for my "baby" to spend a night in the great outdoors. I was worried that his buddies would laugh at him because his thumb still finds its way to his mouth while he sleeps. I wondered how he'd do sleeping on a cold hard ground on a night when thunderstorms were expected. And finally, before I went to bed, I missed kissing his clammy little forehead good-night.


On the other hand, I was ready for him to experience some of the same fun his buddies have had in Boy Scouts (something he declined to get involved with). I didn't want him to miss out on fun with all the boys in his class, especially since he tends to be shy and stick closely to his very best buddies. I also knew that it would be a rockin' good party with a mom who's a science teacher and always has lots of fun activities.


It took some persuasive talking by several of us, but he went to the birthday campout, knowing that he could call us at any point and we'd come pick him up. Yes, it rained that night. No, he didn't like sleeping on the rocky ground. Yes, he jumped on the trampoline and didn't break a bone or get a concussion. No, he didn't call us. Yes, he did get to catch bugs and play with water balloons. No, he didn't get a kiss good-night.


But he and I did get something. James realized he could try a lot of new things and spend the night outdoors with all his buddies. And I'm gradually learning to let my little bird leave the nest – as long as he comes back the next day.


When my tired little bird returned, he told me that he had a great time and then asked, "Mom, can you and I snuggle for awhile?" So, snuggle we did. I stroked his hair, his thumb popped into his mouth and he drifted off to sleep on a nice warm comfy bed.

Popsicles and Play Dates

Yep, it's summer all right! This past week has been a blur of kids running in and out of the house. Trips to swimming lessons. Driving carloads of kids to and from VBS. Our supply of popsicles and ice cream is dwindling as fast as the messes are growing.


I remember when my husband and I built this house. It seemed too big for us 13 years ago when we first moved in. We had lots of empty rooms and a big unfinished basement. Now the only thing that's unfinished is my long list of household chores.


My husband and I are self-employed which provides us with some degree of flexibility. And an even larger responsibility to make things happen for ourselves and our staff. Summer is one of those times that the juggling act seems literal as we move through the days wiping faces, serving snacks and meeting the demands of clients.
Fortunately, we live in a friendly neighborhood with kids galore. One night last week was the epitome of summer – kids running up and down the street playing with all their friends, climbing trees and riding bikes, while the adults visited (occasionally casting a glance at the kids, doing a mental head count). The blissful days in which children run outside when the sun comes up and don't come in till the sun goes back down again. We've said good-bye to TV, video games and computers – and are stretching our legs and imaginations. Could it get any better than this?


"I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always June." L. M. Montgomery