Working Hand-in-Hand: Home and School

As I contrast my childhood education with that of my two children (ages eight and eleven), I am constantly reminded at the difference in the expectations of today's students – and their parents.

We have always been actively involved with our children, reading to them from the time they were born, stocking the house with kid-friendly books, taking them to museums, doing craft projects and getting them involved with music from the time they were little (starting with KinderMusik programs). Now they're getting older and the homework expectations are much greater – in both quantity and quality.

Our fifth-grade daughter is doing algebra while our third-grade son is doing geometry. Both children completed a leaf project in third grade – something I did as a seventh grade student. Granted, they weren't expected to go into as much depth with research as I did, but still, it's a "big kid" project. Our daughter is doing monthly oral book reports of various genres including her most recent one based on a piece of historical fiction – in reality, these book reports are speeches comparable to what I was doing in junior high or beyond. Of course, they're both already learning to type, something I took as a high-school elective when my grandfather encouraged me to prepare to "be a secretary".

When I read several articles in the last few days about a report from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (O.E.C.D) which conducts exams for the Program for International Student Assessment (PISA), I was again reminded how important parental involvement is. However, I am not a "helicopter parent" who hovers over every last spelling word and math problem. Of course, I'll help my children with specific subject matter and help them study for tests, but my husband and I strongly believe that our kids need to stand on their own two feet and take responsibility for a certain amount of their academics and extracurricular activities. Our children aren't overly involved in school activities (their choice), but they each have piano lessons, Scouts and our oldest is also in the band.

We certainly hope we are providing them with the foundation they need for future success. The study identified three key findings in regard to the outcomes based on parental involvement.

1.             Fifteen-year-old students whose parents often read books with them during their first year of primary school show markedly higher scores in PISA than students whose parents read with them infrequently or not at all.

2.             The performance advantage among students whose parents read to them in their early school years is evident regardless of the family’s socioeconomic background. 

3.             Parents’ engagement with their 15-year-olds is strongly associated with better performance in PISA.

So, how do we find the balance between providing the support our children need without preventing them from taking responsibility and growing into self-sufficient adults? I don't have the answer – we keep moving forward and adapting as our children change and grow. The report, as expressed by Thomas Friedman in the New York Times Opinion Pages, shares what makes a difference.

The study, called “Back to School: How parent involvement affects student achievement,” found something “somewhat surprising,” wrote Barth: “Parent involvement can take many forms, but only a few of them relate to higher student performance. Of those that work, parental actions that support children’s learning at home are most likely to have an impact on academic achievement at school.

“Monitoring homework; making sure children get to school; rewarding their efforts and talking up the idea of going to college. These parent actions are linked to better attendance, grades, test scores, and preparation for college,” Barth wrote. “The study found that getting parents involved with their children’s learning at home is a more powerful driver of achievement than parents attending P.T.A. and school board meetings, volunteering in classrooms, participating in fund-raising, and showing up at back-to-school nights.”

Let's all keep doing our best, knowing that the benefactors are our children.

How to Raise a Reader

I've always loved to read. Some of my fondest memories are of my grandmother taking me to the public library in our small town. It was like the bar in Cheers - everyone knew our names. Grandma always had the latest books on her waiting list - those hot books could only be checked out for a week at a time, while the others could be kept for two.


I would browse my sections of the library - first the little kid section, then I graduated to the chapter books. We'd check out our stacks of books and head back out into the heat before arriving home to read our books in the cool comfort of her air conditioned home.


My love of reading continued throughout my life, peaking when I was pregnant with each of my children. The luxury of relaxing in my glider, feeling my babies kick while consuming a wide range of novels, was a magical time in my life.

But after the kids were born, my reading shifted to Goodnight Moon, Guess How Much I Love You and God Gave Us You. We read to the babies from the time they were very young. We had (still have) books in many rooms throughout the house - short bookshelves in their rooms, baskets of books in the living room, books in the diaper bag and car, books always within in reach.


Then I returned to work, first freelancing, then part-time and eventually full-time. The kids could now read their own books and had even advanced to large chapter books, which they read in record time. During my adult life, my own reading had first given way to picture books with the kids, and then to business books and magazines like The Big Idea, The Personal MBA, BusinessWeek and so on.


Reading for pleasure just seemed like too much of a luxury as a mom with 2 businesses, 2 kids, 2 dogs, 1 husband and a never-ending To Do list. But this summer, I've gradually started to allow myself this luxury again. I love getting lost in a book, reading until my eyes can't stay open any more. Whether reading on the iPad or flipping the pages of a traditional book, the words of a good writer pull me in to places I've never been.


Now as the summer continues to heat up and the kids are out of school, I'm doing one more thing to reinforce their love of reading. I'm letting myself read for fun, too. Yesterday was a blistering hot day so we headed to the library (at their request). We each came out with a stack of books and they opened their books the minute we got to the car. We had such a wonderful quiet evening last night while all of us read together, in our own worlds – yet very much together.